"Thank goodness I purchased the Jet Blue TSA SecuriTease(tm) last-minute upgrade, for only $50! You get priority treatment, like the TSA's trademarked SmoothTouch(tm) velvet gloves for your security probe, instead of that harsh latex the other paramilitary agencies use. Plus, you get a complimentary bag of microwave popcorn which pops along with you in the full-body Dignit-E-Rays(tm) Terror detection booth."
Later, I saw this one printed on a poster depicting a harried-looking blue cartoon traveler:
"Darn! my phrenological profile, compiled free of charge by the NSA, indicated possible Socialist tendencies emanating from my occidental brain-plexus! Bummer, right?
Wrong!
The special new Deep Terror Scan may sound scary, but Freedom isn't free, for patriotic American consumers like us, anyway! And hey, the DTS leaves its survivors, like me, with a temporary* blue glow, which eliminates the need for a reading light on the airplane! Thanks, War on Terra!"
*may not be temporary
The major airlines are also planning to roll out an "unlimited in-flight restroom access" upgrade next Fall.
Due to weather, we spent some time sitting idle on the runway before taking off. I don't normally watch the in-flight TV, but I couldn't resist checking out "The Bill Show", or whatever it's called, on the CW. Man, I haven't watched that channel in a while, but they're still doing what they do. In this episode, the topic was "It's My Body, and I'll Sell it if I Want To". One guest, James, was expressing concern for his friend Toya, because she sleeps with too many men. I wish I could have seen how this situation was resolved, but the young lady up front began droning on about exits and lavatories and who knows what...
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